Loss of Interest

Unfortunately, I have appeared to have lost my interest in playing piano and composing music.  This is something that I have done since I was 15.  I have taken breaks from composing before but it seems like I am just not getting anything done musically.

I used to practice for an hour or two everyday.  I was absorbed in my work.  I was passionate.  It’s not that case anymore…I have to “make myself” play through my compositions every once in a while so I don’t forget them…not that I could forget them since I’ve played them thousands of times.

I really like my most recent composition Luminescence.  It was coming along fine for a while but it’s been months since I’ve written a since note.  So, I hate to say it but I’m not going to force myself to play…I’m only going to play when I feel like playing.

So, I read a lot of self-help books.  I am all about setting goals and having a definite chief aim and all of that but unfortunately I’ve lost of my passionate for my #1 goal which was to be a composer.

Being a composer is actually a very difficult and challenging goal.  It’s certainly not something out of my realm of possibility, but it’s just not something I feel driven to do right now.  (And I feel terrible about it!)

Eric thinks I need to explore my other interests…which I am trying to do.  But I’m not really ready to call it quits on the music.  I’m also not willing to put the time into it right now since I don’t enjoy it like I once did.  Maybe it’s a phase.  Maybe it’s something entirely different.

Either way I did enjoy playing piano for my boss and co-workers for a little fundraiser I put on for Furkids.  (Raised $400!)  So, my piano is not going entirely unused.  Maybe I’m a little too hard on myself but I do feel unmotivated and not as interested in composing right now…but I’m hoping that it will come back to me cause it’s something I really have enjoyed in the past.

Wish me luck!

It’s Been a While

Well, I decided to finally log back into my old personal blog and do a post.  It’s been since 2012 since I’ve written anything!  Wow, how time flies!

I have quite an interesting life.  I now have lived in Atlanta, GA since 2013.  I went a time without working…but now I have a job that I’ve had since October of 2015.  I work for Furkids Animal Rescue and Shelters…at the cat shelter.  I’m a kennel tech and yes I shovel cat poop with a litter scoop among other things.  I actually really enjoy my job!  I get a lot of exercise and I stay very busy.  I also work with a lot of great people and animals!

What can I say?  I’m a cat person.

I hope that as I write this new personal blog that it will inspire me to write more of my articles of Hubpages where I actually make a little money off of the ads and I get scored on my penmanship.  But honestly I love writing on my personal blog because there are no rules and I can write about what I like.  Not sure if anyone wants to read that but I have to say it doesn’t matter…I’ve been told having a personal blog can be therapeutic.

So, since the last time I blogged I got married!  (That’s good!  Real good!). My husband Eric is very wonderful.  He shows me the world in a different way and treats me pretty darn good.  He supports my various projects which is nice…including the fact that I am going back to school this fall!  (Yay!). I’ll be attending Georgia State University Perimeter College!  (Sweet!). I will only be taking one class so that I can ease my way back into things.  I’ve done college before and somehow I seem to overdo it, but hopefully not this time.  Also, I’m medicated.  (Yay!) …which I was not medicated during some of my previously failed attempts at college.  So, I am excited and proud of myself for taking my meds and staying for the most part balanced.

I signed up for school as a music major but I am seriously thinking about changing that.  We will see what I do after I talk to an advisor.  There are other things I am interested in doing…but all I have ever known is music.

Anyhow, I’m just going to stop there.  Thanks for reading!