Love Never Dies

Even though love never dies I suppose my heart can move on to somebody new.

Even though love never dies I wish I could put you behind me.

But I don’t work that way.  I never have.  I never will.

Once I love someone it is a lifelong friendship which I never want to break regardless of the situation.

Love never dies – Therefore, I will always love you.

Lack of Passion

It’s strange to me how you could have so much love and passion for something and then years later it hardly interests you at all.  Or maybe it’s the thought that interests you but you can’t get anything done with that old talent of yours.

Uhg.

I used to love writing music, but the last several years have been the slowest in writing anything new.  When I come up with some new material it is short and I get stuck past a few bars or just a minute worth of music.  It’s frustrating.  I thought I would make a living writing music but I’m really unsure at this point.  I would like to have something else I enjoy as a moneymaker, but I just haven’t found anything.  Perhaps when I move to Atlanta…perhaps not.

At least I’m getting away soon…take a short break and maybe stumble across something.  My life needs meaning and purpose.  I like to be productive.  Right now I mainly lack passion.

There are a number of things that are bothering me right now, but I usually throw them to the side lest I be consumed with something I usually have little control over OR something I fucked up in the past that I have to deal with responsibly now.

Finding Words to Write

I would really love to get back into blogging, but it seems that I am just having a hard time sitting down and writing.  It’s just not coming to me.  I’m not sure why.  One of the ideas I had for my Music/Professional blog was to write about David Archuleta but I’m not really sure what I would say.  It’s really hard to explain how his music affects me.

So, I guess I’m going to go home and try to write a little bit of piano music.  Last week I wrote six bars which is more then I have done in about a year.  I usually produce a lot more of what I enjoy…which is composing as well as some blogging…but I’m at blank.

-J.P.

Why Not Take All of Me?

It was nice to have the rain beating down on me today as I rode my bike around early this morning.  I was angry and wanted to get rid of some of the responsibilities that I had laid upon myself.  What I found is that I am just one person and I can not do everything on my own.  I have a be strong enough to accept help and then go with that help as willingly as possible.  It can be hard at times but I finally think I have come to a nice place.  A place where I can be myself and learn and grow into the person I wish to become.

I often think of the many great things I can do with my life, but probably the best piece of advice I received recently was that I need to live just one day at a time.  It’s time to slow down and enjoy life for all the simple beauties that it possesses.

Life is good…and so is pizza.

-J.P. Dennis

Changed

Dear Reader,

It always amazes me how I offer people advice over and over when I know they don’t want it.  I really want to help some people even when I do not have the control over my life that I wish I had.  And yet again and again, I try to reach out because I think that something might be better or really help.  I am so convinced.  Why is that?  Even if I was right…it does not matter because you can not force the human mind.  So why do I keep trying?  If I have something to say then I need to do it once and leave it at that.

It’s time to let it go.  I am the master of my fate and no one else.  I suppose I could turn this blog around on myself as well by stating that when it comes down to it I make my own decisions and I go against other people’s thoughts and ideas of what is “best for me”.  So, there you go.  I’m a wild card.  I can not expect someone to change for me if I am not willing to change for them.

So, I guess today I am changed…maybe just a little.  For better or worse.

Sincerely,

J.P.

“In places no one will find…all your feelings so deep inside.”

Good Place

Hello There!  Happy October!

Life has actually been really quite good for me recently.  Sure, there have been a few bumps but I feel I am arriving at a “Good Place”.  It’s seems that solutions to all of my questions and problems are now being manifested for the simple reason that I finally let some stress go and I’m starting to treat myself a little better.

I get concerned about my actions and words at times.  This past year I started a lot of different projects and was going in a lot of different directions, but that is okay because honestly I was just trying to make some money.  Money to support myself, get out of debt, and maybe help some friends along the way.  Money is such a fickle thing and there are times I put a lot of emphasis on it and other times that I do not.  For me, the most important thing is the well being of my family and friends.  (That includes me.)

I would say generally I am a happy person but I do take things too serious and let situations overwelm me.  This past week I let an English paper overwhelm me with so with much stress that I cracked because I just could not get my finger around it.  When I turned it in it was far from completion but I found out I was going to have the chance to rewrite it.  I was happy about that but I was also not happy that I had let myself get so consumed because I really wanted to make a good grade.  During that same class period my teacher gave us our midterm grades and I had a A-.  (And here I am about to stroke out over grades…uh!)

One of my goals in life is to be happy with what I get done no matter what my grade is and no matter what other people think of the quality of my work.  I want to be content and stress less…so that is what I am going to do.  That is why the last 2 days have been SO WONDERFUL.  I accept the perfectionist I am and I also accept the slow and steady pace of my work.

Love,

J.P.

“I don’t know what I’m doing here.  How I landed in this space, but it’s a good place.” –  Good Place by David Archuleta

My Brain is Moosh

This has been one of those days in which I am so tired and worn down.  I’ve been helping my old marching band and I feel the need to just get a few things off of my chest.  Usually I use my hubpages account when I have something that would make a great article, but I’m not entirely sure my rambles make a good read, and so they are more for me then for anyone else.

This is the life of John Preston Dennis.  The need to have so many various creative outlets.

I keep thinking in my mind how rich and successful I am, but I do get discouraged sometimes because honestly the money is not physically there yet.  I don’t tend to worry about money too much except for when I am in need of things such as a new pair of shoes or food.

And so I will be getting paid in a couple of days.  New pair of shoes…put $50 aside for my recording session in September.

With everything I do I seem to always feel the need to do more and more and more until I finally break down and come to the point of “loosing it” or “slightly loosing it.”

I have to keep my head up.  I have many ideas, but I want to get them all laid out in front of me (pick 1 or 2) and set the others aside.  I wanna go all the way.  I always have and I no longer accept the idea that I can not make a living writing music or being in business for myself.

Part of the battle is accepting myself and just doing it.

And so I have begun… and now I am literally getting everything that I want within reasonable limits.  (Those limits being positive….because life is worth living.)

Good night!