It was nice to have the rain beating down on me today as I rode my bike around early this morning. I was angry and wanted to get rid of some of the responsibilities that I had laid upon myself. What I found is that I am just one person and I can not do everything on my own. I have a be strong enough to accept help and then go with that help as willingly as possible. It can be hard at times but I finally think I have come to a nice place. A place where I can be myself and learn and grow into the person I wish to become.
I often think of the many great things I can do with my life, but probably the best piece of advice I received recently was that I need to live just one day at a time. It’s time to slow down and enjoy life for all the simple beauties that it possesses.
Life is good…and so is pizza.
It always amazes me how I offer people advice over and over when I know they don’t want it. I really want to help some people even when I do not have the control over my life that I wish I had. And yet again and again, I try to reach out because I think that something might be better or really help. I am so convinced. Why is that? Even if I was right…it does not matter because you can not force the human mind. So why do I keep trying? If I have something to say then I need to do it once and leave it at that.
It’s time to let it go. I am the master of my fate and no one else. I suppose I could turn this blog around on myself as well by stating that when it comes down to it I make my own decisions and I go against other people’s thoughts and ideas of what is “best for me”. So, there you go. I’m a wild card. I can not expect someone to change for me if I am not willing to change for them.
So, I guess today I am changed…maybe just a little. For better or worse.
“In places no one will find…all your feelings so deep inside.”
So today once again I found myself removing certain blogs and postings over the internet. I have to think to myself do people really need to know every detail of my personal life? Am I ready for that to be out there? Even if it is for just a couple of people.
I have to be careful with what I post but at the same time I do love getting comments and thoughts from strangers about how to handle such an interesting life such as mine.
I am tired of being tired and so I choose to be more energetic and yet that energy gets me in trouble over and over again. I start doing things I really should not and even though they are not the worst things in the world they certainly are not the best. However, I find that I really do a lot of good in the world.
Wednesday, I will be volunteering for the homeless cats again at Petco if everything goes well. I have been earning some money mowing lawns and teaching piano. It feels nice to have a few dollars and I am somewhat reluctant to even give it to anything but things that will give me instant gratification such as a movie or CD.
But I have to let go of that and just keep it simple. What happens will happen and it’s time to move on and just simplify my life. Perhaps it would be good to sit down and make a basic plan and then take those steps I need to take to slow the mind and empower the will that is to drive me to greater things.
Time to ease my mind…